14. Alopecia and Dating

As they relate to living with alopecia, I humbly list the following areas of difficulty:

  1. Dating while being a bald woman
  2. Being a bald woman
  3. Finding someone to build a life with while being a bald woman

Call me a broken record, but seriously, I’d really love for life to cut alopecians some slack here.  Why not have us lose our hair after we’ve found “The One”?  I don’t know about you, but of all the aspects of life I’ve grieved over as a result of losing my hair, the loss of feeling like a normal, healthy, attractive young woman has caused me the most pain.

HOWEVER, there’s no such thing as a human being who can’t or doesn’t grow, come what may, unless you’re dead or trapped in a cave somewhere.  But even there I’d wager you learn a thing or two.  What I’ve learned, simply put, is that GUYS DON’T CARE.

Even now, after all these years, I still need to remind myself of that fact, because I think sometimes I get caught up in believing what I think is exactly what other people are thinking.  Don’t judge me.  I’ve grown so much since losing my hair, but I’m still human, still vulnerable to insecurity.

When I turn that insecurity around though, imagining what I’d think about dating a man without hair, it’s not even an issue.  I’ve dated some wonderful bald men not because I have pity on them, but because I think they’re cute, and nice and successful and kind and funny and secure with themselves and on the up-and-up generally speaking.  Their hair doesn’t even come into the equation, so why would I think my own negative balance in the hair department would come into theirs?  Search me!

But really, guys, in my experience, don’t give even the tiniest little crapola about whether or not I have Pantene commercial quality hair.  And to you I say, if they do, they’re not worth you caring about.  You want a guy who has enough ego strength to place value in less superficial things.  Being a woman without hair is, in my opinion, pretty badass, because it’s not easy.  And the woman who owns her baldness?  Well, let’s just say she’ll have no problem solving for X.

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